Famous People tell Dad Jokes

Mark Zuckerberg drops funny dad jokes on Harvard grads

• People often ask me why I started Facebook. Let's face it, I wanted people to like me.


• I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.


• I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it.


• What lies beneath the sea bottom and feels anxious? A nervous wreck.


• What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me.


• Stop looking for the perfect match. Use a lighter.

Fake news reporters get hit with Donald Trump's dad jokes

• I know lots of jokes about retired people, but apparently, none of them work.


• I will find the one who stole my copy of Microsoft Office. You have my Word.


• Have you heard about the Italian chef who just died? He pasta way!


• My doctor just told me that I am slowly going deaf. It was hard for me to hear that.


• What do you call someone with no nose and nobody? Nobody knows.

Mr. T pities the fool who can't laugh at his dad jokes

• What are two octopuses that look the same called? Itenticle


• Name the thing that has a head, foot, and four legs. A bed.


• Did you catch wind of the story about the astronaut who felt claustrophobic? He just needed some space.


• My friend wants to become an archaeologist. I am worried his life will be in ruins.


• Did you hear about of the shoe factory blaze? Sadly, it claimed countless soles.